Manufactured Pointlessness

14 01 2012

Time alone in a hotel room allows you to ponder upon things. You can become meditative about the contents of your room, musing about the items around you. What purpose does that item serve, who designed it, what was the spark of creativity that gave birth to it ? So on and so forth.

Casting my eyes around my pokey Norwegian hotel they fell upon something. An item who’s very existence should be challenged by the highest legal powers in our fair and green land. What item offends me so I hear you ask ?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “The Corby Trouser Press“.  Appearing at a hotel near you right now.

The Corby Trouser Press

I don’t see the point in this manufactured garbage. Sorry but if it takes 45 minutes to badly press a pair of trousers it is a tremendous waste of energy. Especially to find it’s done a craptastic job and you have to iron them anyway.

It seems that I am not the only person to question the existence of the infamous trouser press. A Google Search yielded this imaginative page which lists “101 uses for a Trouser Press“.

My favourites are:

  • A mirror for people who don’t like seeing themselves in mirrors.
  • Remove little rubber feet. Use as saké cups. Discard rest of press.
  • The be all and end all device for not only drying out wet duck billed platipi, but it also takes the wrinkles out and puts in a lovely crease

Who could forget when a bored Alan Partridge dismantled the Trouser Press in his Travel Tavern room. “Hi Susan. I was a bit bored so I dismantled my Corby Trouser Press. I can’t put it back together again. Will that show up on my bill?“. Classic Partridge !

Dear Mr Corby, if by some freak of nature you end up here…please remove this scourge from the Earth. Then again, perhaps a new sport could be born…Extreme Trouser Pressing ?




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