Insignificant Us

15 04 2013

It seems that mother nature has dominated my Florida based weekend somewhat…

It began with a very poor decision on my part. Having been faced with a cold and never ending winter, I thought it would be a good idea to receive some sun. To give a healthier glow to my pasty skin. The sun worship was to be combined with another passion of mine, fishing. So me and a colleague set off in a canoe on the Indian River towards a sand bar island. Gliding through the water so quiet we were almost spectral. Especially against the legions of high powered jet skis and motor boats screaming past.

Reaching the island we disembarked and began to set up. Feeling the warmth of the sun beating down on us, reflecting upon the water it was a picture postcard scene. Wading into the warm water we began to fish using lobster sized shrimp as bait. Letting my eyes wander, I observed a fish eagle dive down to claim it’s lunch. Then majestically soaring up and away. I had no bites so moved down to an emerging arm of the island. Moving into the water again, it’s warm waves lapping around my thighs I saw a pod of Bottlenose Dolphins within 3 meters of me. As they came to the surface I saw their silky skin catching the sunlight. Awestruck I observed them moving away. Now the sun was affecting me somewhat because at that point I became a little paranoid. I kept imagining a shark based shape rushing toward me. It’s beady little eyes fixated on my meaty (muscle of course) thighs. Luckily I remained in one piece for the remainder of the ‘expedition’.

Moving to the next part of this story, my colleague mentioned casually ‘You got some sun there‘. Ahh yes, that would explain the burning sensation on my arms and neck. Let me tell you, even a cold shower after sunburn is painful. Also I will answer the question you are dying to ask. I see you raising your hand, patiently waiting to interject. No, I did bloody not put suncream on. Consequently I both look and feel like a lobster. Admittedly a lobster that has been half cooked with a t shirt tan. The pain is incredible and I think I will have a bath in Aloe Vera gel.

Cue the next day…

It seems that Mother Nature was not quite finished with me. I have recently set up Google Cards on my phone and tablet. Whilst mostly annoying today they proved to be of interest. My devices started to go a little crazy as various weather warnings got issued. Not only severe thunderstorms but also a tornado watch. Wait a second, aren’t they the spinney things that destroy entire towns in Oklahoma? So began a mental preparation cycle in my head. The first thought was…WTF do I do in a tornado? I have almost seen one in the UK, but it fizzled out before hitting the ground. I think it was strong enough to ruffle feathers on a bird. Consequently the concept of a giant twister tearing it’s way through the hotel car park is alien to me. How should I handle this? WWMcGD (What Would McGyver Do) ? Well I thought hiding in the corner and crying like a girl was an option. However common sense kicked in and my thoughts were directed towards the stair well. Secure, no windows and a way to get the f–k out if I needed.

Luckily the threat of twister based carnage has now passed. I did however enjoy some amazing lightning shows as the storm rolled past to the north. I considered how weak we are. This strong dominant race of the Earth. Burnt to pain by our life-giver. Swept away in an instant by our necessary winds. Anyway I recommend just having a plan in mind if you become faced with the possibility of an extreme weather scenario. Allow your plan to be flexible and change with the situation.

Mother nature simply reminds us sometimes, you are not in charge…I am.


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